Waking Up To Yourself
by Mirandabelle
Summary: NEW, FINAL CHAPTER! This is it folks, what happened to our two heroines?
1. Disclaimer, Summary etc

D/C: I'm not making money from this. I don't own the show I just play with the toys it provides. M*A*S*H is unfortunately not mine, and if it were, these would be more than fanfics wouldn't they?"  
  
Perdita and Nicolette and their families are my own creations with the exception of Hawkeye, BJ, Peggy, Margaret and Erin . . . bummer!! If you want to use them that's cool, I'm a very relaxed person, but I do want to know first!! That's not too much to ask is it now?" Mail me at mirandabelle@bigpond.com  
  
Summary: Perdita Joyce Honnicut and Nicolette Margaret Pierce are two very confused girls who have realised something about themselves . . . and each other. They have to tell their families, but they don't know how. Follows their stories as they learn about themselves, try to tell their parents and struggle with acceptance.  
  
** A/N Recently my best friends Erynne Marija and Tiffany Rose inspired me to write about 'Perdita' and 'Nicolette' and it is with love and pride I dedicate this story to them**  
  
Dearest Erynne,  
  
You know I love you and am proud of you no matter who you are, no matter what you are, and no matter who you choose to love. Thankyou for letting me take your story to words. Miranda xoxox  
  
Darling Tiff,  
  
Remember when life gets you down I will always be there, I'm proud to be your friend and I take you for who you are, warts and all. You're a fighter, just keep on fighting! Miranda xoxox  
  
And now folks . . . . . without further ado . . . .on to the story! 


	2. Perdita

Part One: Perdita  
  
Ever since she was a little girl Perdita had felt safe around her father. She could remember running to him when she needed comfort and she'd knew she could tell him anything. She was daddy's girl, through and through. Perdita knew that her father loved her, that he loved them all, her big sister, her little brother, and their mother, but she was afraid that what she needed to tell her father would make him stop loving her.  
  
Perdita Joyce Honnicut had arrived on the 8th of June 1954 to her proud parents BJ and Peggy and loving sister Erin. Very quickly their joy was shattered as the slightly premature baby stopped breathing. In haste while the obstetricians fought to save the tiny girl's life, BJ and Peggy named their daughter Perdita Joyce, which translated to lost joy. However, Perdita was not a lost joy as her life was saved. But as she stood at the airport, wringing her hands nervously, she wished that she hadn't been born at all.  
  
She twisted the hanky in her hands so tight she cut off the circulation. There was pain as the thin cotton cut into her finger, the finger where she wore Nicolette's ring. She glanced at the plain silver band with vines delicately engraved around it and for her own reassurance took it off. She read the worn inscription that she knew by heart.  
  
"Nicolette Margaret Pierce 19/10/54 6lbs 13oz 3.27am" It did little to comfort her this time and so she slipped it back on.  
  
"Perdita!" She turned at the voice and grabbing her bags, ran towards its source.  
  
"Daddy I missed you so much!" Perdita threw herself into her father's arms. A private school in Maine - where Perdita attended by choice - meant the 16 year-old only saw her parents in the summer and at Christmas time, as BJ and Peggy couldn't afford to have her flown back in between. She spent the other holidays with her friend Nicolette and her family who she lived with in term time.  
  
"Well I missed you too darling." BJ laughed as he hugged his youngest daughter warmly. "How have you been? You've grown so big!" He kissed her smooth, red-blonde hair and admired the young lady who was the spitting image of her mother.  
  
"It's what I'm meant to do. I'm wearing Nicolette's uniform by the way." Perdita informed her father, watching as he eyed her up and down. BJ shook his head, Perdita was tall and curvy and becoming more beautiful everyday, he could hardly believe that the gorgeous woman before him was once the tiny blue baby on oxygen.  
  
"And Nicolette's ring I see." BJ commented looking at the ring. Perdita had a ring also, and it too was sliver, but it was studded with tiny amethyst chips around it and bore the details of her birth. "Perdita Joyce Honnicut 8/6/54 5lbs 4oz 5.55pm" It had been a 16th birthday gift from Nicolette's parents. Nicolette had received hers at birth, but when seeing that Perdita loved the idea so, Hawkeye and Celina had bought one for Perdita.  
  
"What? Oh, Nicolette and I were in such a hurry we didn't even notice we'd swapped rings when we were packing." Perdita said lightly, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. She and Nicolette had exchanged rings while they were apart, as they wouldn't see each other for a whole three months.  
  
"You're getting more like your mother every time I see you. She's scatterbrained as you are. I wish you'd stay in California." Just as he'd hated being away from Erin's babyhood, he hated having Perdita away from him in her teenage years.  
  
"Daddy, I love the school and I'm safe there, I've got Hawkeye and Celina to make sure I'm okay. Hawkeye is as protective of me as he is of Nicolette, Philippe, Daniel, Gabrielle or Antoinette." BJ carried her bags out of the airport and to their car.  
  
"I know Perdita, I just worry about you, with all those boys. Philippe sounds just like his father a real girl-chaser. And you're just a little girl!" BJ said teasingly, and Perdita winced at that. Her father expected her to like boys.  
  
"Daddy! I'm not a little girl." She fell quiet after that, trying to screw up her courage. BJ noticed that she was quiet and how she pulled away from him and worried, he tried to find out what was upsetting his beloved daughter.  
  
"Perdita are you feeling okay?" He glanced at his daughter as she sat in silence.  
  
"Yes, I mean no, I just feel a little sick." She mumbled quietly.  
  
"Is it your tummy?" BJ took one hand off the wheel to put it on her stomach.  
  
"No daddy, I haven't got my period if that's what you're asking." Perdita laughed a little. "I've just got something to tell you, and I'm not sure how."  
  
"Perdita, answer me this, are you pregnant?" He deliberately made his voice teasing so she knew he was joking.  
  
"No daddy!" Perdita laughed as her father took his hand off her stomach.  
  
"Are you going to be expelled?" He joked again.  
  
"Of course not daddy!" She sounded scandalized.  
  
"Well then, whatever it is you can tell me, in your own time."  
  
"Thankyou daddy." Perdita relaxed a bit. "I'll tell you and mum when I'm ready." BJ turned the car into their drive and smiled lovingly at his daughter, who looked pale and scared.  
  
"In your own time sweetheart."  
  
Perdita wasn't sure all the time in the world would be enough. It was going to be tough telling her parents she was in love, and even tougher telling them that she loved a girl. 


	3. Nicolette

Part Two: Nicolette  
  
"This is it for the summer." Nicolette and Perdita threw their arms around each other before Perdita's plane would take her home to Mill Valley. The two teens embraced and secretly, out of the sight of Nicolette's parents' eyes, swapped rings.  
  
"Be good, or I'll come kick you!" Perdita threatened with a laugh.  
  
"I will if you will!" Nicolette replied smartly. "Be good, and don't be afraid. Call me right after you do. 6pm your time Sunday night I'll tell mum and dad then too." The best friends hugged each other closely and shared a quick kiss on the cheek.  
  
"That's my flight I've got to go. Love you!" Nicolette and Perdita bid farewell and Nicolette and her family left the airport.  
  
In her room that she shared with Perdita, Nicolette wondered how she could tell her parents. She was sure they'd hate it. She felt safe with her father; she'd been able to tell him anything, except this. Every night when she came home from school, he'd ask her with a twinkle if she'd fallen in love. With the same twinkle, she'd swoon into his arms before telling him he was the only man in her life. Nicolette was sure after the years they'd carried on with that joke that her father wouldn't like her news at all.  
  
Nicolette Margaret Pierce was born October 19, 1954. She was the first of five children to bless the Pierce household, which was now inhabited by Daniel Pierce, his son Hawkeye, Hawkeye's wife Celina and their five children Nicolette Margaret, Philippe Henry, Daniel Jacques, and the twins Gabrielle Maria and Antoinette Elizabeth.  
  
"Nicolette, Nicolette, where are you? Ma petite!" It was her mother, a French woman who had lived in America since she was tiny but unable to loose her accent and often worked in phrases of her own language when talking to her bi-lingual children.  
  
"Oui mama?" Nicolette dragged herself off her bed to open her door. Her mother stood at the door.  
  
"Your aunt Marguerite is on the phone." Nicolette smiled, her aunt was only honorary, but she loved Margaret and Margaret loved her like they were flesh and blood.  
  
"Merci mama." Nicolette said and went to the lounge where Gabriella had the phone and was talking nineteen to the dozen.  
  
"Gabriella, Margaret wanted to talk to me." Nicolette wrestled the phone from her sister and sat down in the armchair.  
  
"Hi Margaret!"  
  
"Hello, how's my namesake?" Margaret had been a very close friend to her father all through the Korean War while at the same MASH unit and when Nicolette was born, she was named after the woman who had so helped to make Hawkeye who he was.  
  
"I'm okay I guess aunty Margaret." She said softly, uncertainly and Margaret twigged immediately.  
  
"Nicolette, what's wrong? You don't sound happy." Margaret knew her favourite niece was upset.  
  
"Well, it's just that mum and dad won't like what I have to tell them."  
  
"Can you tell me first?" Margaret asked, hoping telling someone would ease the girl's mind.  
  
"Okay, just a second. Antoinette could you tell dad I'll be in for supper in a second? Thankyou darling." Margaret gave a little chuckle. "Well, I'm in lo. . . Margaret, I can't say." Nicolette hastily stopped her sentence as her brother entered the room.  
  
"Let me guess, you're in love." Margaret said softly. "And you know that Hawkeye and Celina will accept that, but it's who you're in love with that you're not sure they'll like." Her aunt could read her like a book.  
  
"Exactly, Margaret. You know exactly what I mean. I really don't think they'll approve"  
  
"Well darling, I can't stay on the phone forever, who is it? Maybe I can help."  
  
"Perdita." Nicolette replied with confidence, she knew that Margaret would love her no matter what.  
  
"I see. Well honey, just tell them. And if it all goes wrong, I'm here for you. Hawkeye will be fine with it, I know him better than anyone else. Remember, I'm coming to visit next week, it'll be fine. I can hear you being called for supper, so I'll let you go now. Love you beautiful."  
  
"Love you too, see you when you come."  
  
"One more thing honey, what about Perdita?"  
  
"Oh she knows, she's the one who made the move. I've really got to go."  
  
"Darling, just tell him, Hawkeye will love you whoever you are. Bye sweetie." Margaret hung up the phone and Nicolette went to supper.  
  
"Just tell them it'll be fine." She told herself and Margaret's words swimming in her head, she went to sleep that night, dreading 3pm the next day when she would have to tell her parents she was in love with a girl. 


	4. Procrastinating

Part Three: Procrastinating  
  
"Daddy, can I call Nicolette, just to let them know I got in okay?" Perdita asked after supper.  
  
"Of course darling, but keep it short." Perdita hurried to the phone, hoping that Nicolette hadn't told her parents yet. There was no way in the world that she could yet. Hurriedly she was connected.  
  
"Bonjour, Celina speaking. "  
  
"Bonjour Celina, it's Perdita, may I please speak Nicolette?"  
  
"Of course." The phone was put down and in a second, Nicolette, sounding breathless had picked up the phone.  
  
"Perdita!"  
  
"Nicolette, have you told them?" There was definite urgency in Perdita's voice.  
  
"No, I can't have you?"  
  
"I know it's silly, but I really want to wait until we're together, the lot of us, as a family. And Aunty Margaret too."  
  
"I do too, we'll wait okay?"  
  
"You bet."  
  
"That's great and Aunty Margaret knows." Nicolette admitted.  
  
"How? Why? What does she think?" Perdita asked, very much surprised.  
  
"I'm sorry sweetie, I was upset and I told her last night. But she's okay with it all. She doesn't mind, and she won't talk to our parents about it until she knows they know. She's coming over next week and I'll talk to her then and ask her to keep quiet."  
  
"I know she will, have you been crying?"  
  
"Yeah." Nicolette admitted sheepishly, "You know how I stress."  
  
"Yeah you little goose, well, we'll wait till we're together." Perdita laughed. "I have to go, I'm running my five-minute time limit."  
  
"Okay, take care."  
  
"I love you, you goose, you know that."  
  
"Yeah Perdita, and I love you too sweetheart."  
  
"Bye, bye." Perdita made a kissing noise down the phone and Nicolette returned it, laughing they hung up.  
  
They were relived that they had to wait until their families were together to tell them as they knew that no matter how close the two families were, it cost a lot to get the five Honnicuts to Maine and even more for the seven Pierces to get to California, so they weren't together very often.  
  
"Why do you say you love Perdita?" Celina asked, she was only 18 when she'd met Hawkeye and 19 when Nicolette had been born. Barely out of her teens herself, Celina didn't understand her daughter.  
  
Hawkeye met Celina just after coming home from Korea. Despite the age gap, they formed an instant friendship, which quickly became a deeply passionate relationship. They were happy, and loved each other very much. Even Hawkeye put his morals aside, until Celina found out that she was pregnant and the couple married at her parent's insistence. Hawkeye's morals suddenly reawakened from wherever he had put them when he - a 33-year-old - had taken the 18-year-old virgin into his bed. Now they were celebrating 16 years of wedlock and 5 healthy children.  
  
"Because she is like my sister mama, it is just how we are." Nicolette explained. Celina smiled, English wasn't her strongest language. Nicolette repeated herself in rapid French, and finally Celina understood.  
  
Very much relived Perdita went to bed, and Nicolette went for a walk. The girls knew they'd put it off, but just how long they had no idea. 


	5. Confiding In Another

A/N: Let's assume the actors of M*A*S*H are real in this story-world okay?  
  
Part Four: Confiding In Another  
  
It was nearly Christmas, six months after the postponing of the announcement and the girls were studying in Nicolette's room with another girl, Christina-May Stanton, a close friend of theirs from school.  
  
"Chrissie, can you explain this one?" Christina-May studied the algebra Nicolette waved before her nose, and chomped on her pencil, it tasted horrid, and didn't help the thought process.  
  
"Question 7g?" Perdita asked, she was half under her bed, chasing a lost eraser.  
  
"Yep." Chrissie and Nicolette replied together.  
  
Perdita explained it in such a way that all three girls wound up more confused than before and had to seek help, in the form of Hawkeye. Most of their homework out of the way, their discussion turned light-hearted in the half-hour they had before Chrissie had to go home.  
  
"Did you see that actor Alan-what-his-name?"  
  
"Alda?" Nicolette murmured, having heard this several times since Chrissie'd arrived, but being Chrissie, she couldn't remember his last name more than once every five minutes.  
  
"Yeah, Alan Alda! He's so cute!" Chrissie gushed. Perdita offered half- hearted interest, while Nicolette said nothing. "And what about Wayne Rogers . . .?"  
  
"Say Chris, can we tell you something?' Perdita said when Chrissie had finished her 'Wow-so-and-so-is-so-cute!' rant.  
  
"Sure." She flopped back on Nicolette's bed, Nicolette sat on the desk cross-legged, but moved to join Perdita who was curled up on her bed.  
  
"See Chrissie, we're telling you because we trust you. Promise you won't tell anyone?" Nicolette asked.  
  
"Of course she won't you goose" Perdita gave Nicolette's shoulder a little squeeze.  
  
"What Perdita said, I promise not to." Chrissie said.  
  
"Well Chrissie, I don't know if you've noticed much about Nikki and I," Perdita said, taking Nicolette's hand. "But we're going to tell you something."  
  
"Perdita's my girlfriend." Nicolette said.  
  
"And Nicolette's my girlfriend." Perdita finished.  
  
"Girlfriend as in a friend who's a girl or girlfriend as in Angie and Mike?"  
  
"Yes." Perdita said.  
  
"Yes Perdita's my friend who's female." Nicolette supplied.  
  
"But Nikki's also my friend as in Angie and Mike." Perdita said, referring to Angela, another friend and her boyfriend Mike.  
  
Chrissie's face went through a series of emotions. Perdita and Nicolette watched her with growing trepidation.  
  
"Really?" She asked.  
  
"Really." The two girls confirmed in unison. Outside Chrissie's father's car pulled up and a horn tooted.  
  
"Well, I hope you're happy." Chrissie said in a funny tight voice. "I'd better go, dad's here. Thankyou Celina!" Chrissie called as Celina informed the girls about her father's presence. "I can't be your friend anymore. I won't tell, I will keep my word, I promise. But I don't feel right by being around you. I hope you understand."  
  
"I do." Perdita said slowly. Nicolette nodded her acceptance quietly.  
  
"I wish you luck, but I can't." Chrissie collected her books and left. Acting as naturally as possible, Nicolette and Perdita bid Chrissie farewell and returned to their room. 


	6. The Harsh Realisation

Part Five: The Harsh Realisation  
  
"Put on a record, we'll have a dance." Perdita mumbled. Blindly, Nicolette obeyed; putting on a slow romantic song. The two girls found each other, one wrapping the other tightly in her arms. Perdita's head rested on Nicolette's shoulder, and Nicolette's cheek on Perdita's head.  
  
"I can't believe she did that." Perdita said at last, long after the song stopped and they just stood in the middle of the room. Thank god everyone in the house knocked, with the exception of the twins and they were still young enough to be lied away.  
  
"I figured it would happen like that. I hate to say it, but we're far from what people call normal." Nicolette said softly, and felt Perdita's arms tighten around her.  
  
"I guess we're not, but what's so wrong with it?" Perdita sighed. The two girls lay down on the rug staring at the ceiling, as they always had when they wanted to talk.  
  
"Perdi darling, the Bible only approves of boy-girl things, and everyone is so set in their ways too. They all think there's something wrong with us, you know, up here." She tapped her dark head with one slim finger.  
  
"But there isn't with us is there?" Perdita asked anxiously. "When I said I loved you, I never thought it could mean this." Perdita acted on impulse and often regretted it later.  
  
"Perdi, there isn't. Daddy says that it's okay. He knew soldiers who were like us, except they were men obviously, but he said that it was okay then. I guess it means we're okay too." Nicolette was the rational member of the pair.  
  
"Yeah, your dad would know." Perdita sighed, rolling onto her side, to study Nicolette who still lay on her back. "If we stay, well like we are forever, it means we can't have kids huh?" She said, and Nicolette pulled her closer so they lay next to each other, Perdita's head lying on Nicolette's breast while her friend's arm curled around her warmly.  
  
"It doesn't does it?" Both girls flinched at that;, since they were tiny they'd dreamed of being mummies.  
  
"No it doesn't Nikki sweetheart, but you know, I'd rather have you than a million babies any day." Perdita said.  
  
"And I'd much rather have you Perdi." Nicolette smiled and Perdita twisted so they shared a small kiss, something they only dared to do in the privacy of their room.  
  
"We really aren't normal are we?" Nicolette said, at last.  
  
"I guess not." Perdita smiled as someone knocked on the door and came in. It was Hawkeye, who if the sight of his oldest charges lying so closely on the floor surprised him didn't show it.  
  
"Girls, it's nearly eleven, I want you in bed okay?" The girls agreed and Hawkeye left. As they washed and changed for bed, they chatted a little.  
  
"I guess we won't tell anyone else" Perdita said, Nicolette's answer was barely audible through her toothbrush, but Perdita understood, and answered the question.  
  
"Angie will hate it worse than Chrissie did. Why can't loving a girl be normal?"  
  
"I really don't know, but this is our little secret right?"  
  
"Right. I love you."  
  
"I love you too." The forbidden words whispered, they went to bed knowing that never again would they be considered 'normal.' 


	7. Telling The Truth

Part Six: Telling The Truth  
  
"You ready girls?" Hawkeye called up the stairs. Two voices answered him, and the girls called back a response.  
  
"Well Perdi sweetheart, are you ready?" Nicolette asked.  
  
"Are you?" Perdita queried anxiously.  
  
"I think so." Nicolette swallowed firmly.  
  
"Let's go." Together, arms linked, the girls headed downstairs. They were about to graduate high school, and afterwards, they were going to tell their families the truth about themselves. They'd kept the secret for nearly two years, and now, at 18 this was the first time their families had been together since the girls were 15 and the first opportunity to tell them.  
  
"Wow! Here are our graduates!" Peggy called. As the gown-clad girls made their way downstairs it was a muddle of camera flashes and hugging parents and congratulating siblings.  
  
"Daddy, where's Aunty Margaret?"  
  
"Coming, Amelia was feeling a bit ill on the train." Margaret had married a widowed, non-army, older man by the name of Thomas last year. In the process she had adopted Tom Jr, Casey and Amelia Thomas's kids. The instant family gave her a lot of satisfaction, as she knew that she was past childbearing age.  
  
"Good, I was wondering, I don't want to do this without her." Perdita replied, just as someone opened the always-unlocked front door and breezed in.  
  
"Hello! Where are my favourite nieces?" The girls ran into the hall and were lost in a flurry of hugs and exclamations as Margaret, Thomas and the kids met them.  
  
"Aunty Margaret!" Gabriella and Antoinette, now 9 joined the group.  
  
"Hello!" Margaret bent and accepted the onslaught of giggling girls. Somehow they managed to make it into the living room of the bustling Pierce home.  
  
"Celina, you look younger everyday!" Margaret and Celina embraced, it was her way of letting Hawkeye know she still wasn't happy about what had happened 18 years before.  
  
She had been suspicious when she heard that Hawkeye had become friends with Celina, and even more so when Hawkeye had taken her to a dance, only meant as a nice gesture to help the shy girl have some fun, and hopefully have her meet a nice boy, more her age. Celina had been shy at the dance, and clung to Hawkeye most of the night, only dancing with him, and refusing other offers.  
  
Margaret had met Celina, seen her and Hawkeye together and knew they were just friends. This reassurance however didn't stop her having a feeling that they would become more than friends no matter what; rather like she and Hawkeye had. For no matter how hard the Captain and Major fought, they managed to end up in each other's arms, even beds, Margaret and Hawkeye had shared a couple of nights in Korea together.  
  
Margaret was right, of course, and when Hawkeye and Celina returned to Hawkeye's house after the dance, they had only felt it was natural to be together. Margaret had been furious when a few months later, Hawkeye had rung with the news he was going to be a father, but still attended the wedding, and was there to see her adopted nieces and nephews brought into the world. Including the most recent, and rather unexpected addition, Cherie Bianca shortly before her wedding.  
  
"Merci Marguerite, and Amelia, Casey! Ma petite!" Celina mixed her languages and although mostly incoherent, sounded just plain beautiful as she swept the girls into her arms.  
  
A few million hugs later, the group left for the ceremony. Although neither girl had been declared valedictorian they had both done well and had been accepted into the same college where BJ had gone. It was the Honnicut's turn to have an extra daughter and the Pierce's turn to wonder how their baby was going on the other side of the country. Both families were proud of their daughters, who wanted to be doctors, or even surgeons like their fathers, however if they could help it, the Army was out of the question, having heard so many stories about the horrors that happened to their fathers and Margaret in Korea.  
  
The girls had declined invites to after-grad parties, not wanting to miss the opportunity to be with their families. Besides, they had no desire to watch everyone get drunk, smoke some stuff, listen to music played really loudly and have a bunch of slimy guys hit on them. The last invite had been to Christina's party, Christina-May their old friend had turned quite the hippy-party girl and with a laugh, Perdita and Nicolette refused Angie's offer, saying that they could find out who'd gotten pregnant at the party later on.  
  
It was now late in the night and only BJ, Peggy, Erin, Emmylou Erin's friend, Margaret, Celina, Hawkeye, Cherie and the two girls remained awake. They were sitting in the living room, winding down and enjoying some cocoa.  
  
"What about Erin and Emmylou can they hear?" Nicolette asked, while they changed into some comfortable clothes, 'fatigues' as their fathers and Margaret still called them.  
  
"Course! Remember what I told you about them? Besides, if the worst comes to worst, they'll back us up. They know what it's like, I'm sure we'll have Erin and Emmylou on our side."  
  
"Oh, right. How's your dad going to take it, I mean, two daughters, what are the odds that Caitlin's going to turn out the same?" Erin, now 22 had told her parents about a relationship with Emmylou, a friend from college early last year. BJ and Peggy had accepted it well, but even Perdita had doubts they'd appreciate two of their three daughters not being 'normal' whatever that meant these days.  
  
"Yeah, what if Caitlin . . .?" Perdita wondered aloud. Caitlin Margaret was 12, the fourth and last Honnicut child. Between Perdita and Caitlin, a boy, Benjamin Hayden had been born and was 16.  
  
"No, she's too much of a flirt already. Look at how she acts around Tom. Tie my hair for me there's a darling." It was said that Caitlin's middle name ought to be Delilah, she was a flirt with silky blonde curls, big green eyes, long eyelashes and full, pink lips, she was often called this, and answered to it anyhow.  
  
"Nice point Nikki love, well, shall we?" The two girls went downstairs, holding hands and squeezed into the same armchair, as it was the only space left.  
  
The girls took little part in the trivial conversation that followed, only answering politely when spoken to. They were asked what was wrong, when someone realised they were so silent.  
  
"Well, actually, mum, daddy, Aunty Margaret, there's something we want to tell you." Nicolette said.  
  
"Yes daddy, mum we do have news for you."  
  
"Would you like us to go?" Erin asked. She was a well-mannered beautiful woman now, and stood up to give her sister room to talk, offering Emmylou a hand up.  
  
"No, Erin, we want to you stay, you too Emmylou." Nicolette said. Erin sat down beside Emmylou again, her slim hand finding the solid black one of her New Orleans-born friend.  
  
"What is it sweetie?" BJ looked at his daughters."  
  
"Yes Nicolette, what is this news?" Celina asked.  
  
"Well, you see, we're in love." Nicolette said slowly.  
  
"You've got a boyfriend?" Hawkeye asked. "Both of you at once?" He and BJ shared jubilant glances.  
  
"My girls are growing up!" BJ cheered, while Peggy grinned from ear-to-ear and Celina looked happy.  
  
"We-el, see it's that I'm not sure if you'll approve of WHO we love." Perdita said.  
  
"Been in the stockade?" BJ asked, both girls shook their heads firmly.  
  
"Does drugs?" Hawkeye asked, again receiving a definite no.  
  
"You love the same boy?" Peggy asked, getting a negative answer.  
  
"He is older than you?" Celina asked, at this they shared glances, Perdita was a few months older than Nicolette.  
  
"No, not older than me." Perdita said.  
  
"But a few months older than I." Nicolette added. "But that's not it."  
  
"They won't be using a razor on their chin will they?" Emmylou said softly, her half-drawled accent sounded out-of-place in the combination of Maine and San Francisco voices that filled the room.  
  
"Hopefully not!" Nicolette and Perdita began to laugh, and the adults caught on.  
  
"You're saying that you two . . .?" BJ's voice trailed off.  
  
"Yes." Perdita confirmed. "Daddy, Mum, Hawkeye, Celina, Aunty Margaret, Erin, Emmylou, you see Nicolette and I, we're well, we're lesbians." 


	8. Responses

Part Seven: Responses  
  
There was an awkward silence in the room for a bit, Perdita had started chewing on her thumbnail, and Nicolette was picking off her nail polish.  
  
"Really, you're like Emmylou and me? When did you realise?" Erin said at last.  
  
"Yes, how long have ya'll known?" Emmylou added.  
  
"Since we were 15 or 16, kind of around my birthday." Nicolette answered.  
  
"Ben, what is it? What do they mean?" Celina asked. Hawkeye, who after telling a Korean girl he was a chicken when he meant he was pulled toward poetry, had become fluent in French, and replied in Celina's language. She understood, after a few minutes of talking that Nicolette and Perdita had to strain to keep up with.  
  
"Ma petite! So good, I am proud of you!" Celina gasped at last. "It is good of you to be honest, I am proud!"  
  
"Well, daddy would you say something? Mummy?" Perdita asked. BJ and Peggy sat silent, studying their sweet daughter with thoughtful eyes.  
  
"Oh, Perdita, I love you come here!" BJ opened his arms. Perdita crossed to him and he took his girl onto his knee.  
  
"Nicolette Margaret Pierce, don't look so distraught! Come here and give your daddy a hug!"  
  
A couple of minutes later, and a whole lot of hugs, the girls still sat on their father's knees. Hawkeye's nimble hands braided the shiny black hair of his daughter, while BJ tied and untied the blue ribbon that held back Perdita's strawberry-blonde locks.  
  
"Oh Perdi, my baby there are two of you, my daughters." Peggy said at last.  
  
"I know mum, and I know you want grandchildren, but there's always Caitlin and BJ." Peggy had refused to allow her son to be named B Junior, and agreed on Benjamin. Despite this, the teen boy answered to BJ like his father.  
  
"It's okay darling, it's just who you are. The both of you is a bit surprising, actually, a lot surprising, but I still love you very much." Peggy said.  
  
"Thankyou mum." Perdita leaned over and kissed her mother. She was a daddy's girl through and through but still wanted her mother's precious reassurance.  
  
"Aunty Margaret, say something, please." Nicolette begged. Margaret was quiet, as she nursed the infant Cherie, who was sound asleep.  
  
"You know how I feel, I love you both very much, and I'm very proud of you." She smiled. Had she been in Korea and found out about it, she wouldn't have been happy, but now, out of the army and loving her nieces so much, she had nothing more to do than accept it and go on loving her nieces as much as she ever did.  
  
"I think I'm going to go to bed." Nicolette yawned.  
  
"Me too!" Perdita agreed. The girls said goodnight, and received hugs and kisses all round, along with praise, and promises of unconditional love and pride.  
  
"Would you take Cherie please?" Margaret shifted the 9-month-old to Nicolette. The baby stirred enough to settle into a better position in her sister's arms  
  
"Goodnight all." They climbed the stairs, and once out of sight on the top stair, they sat down, to hear what their families thought.  
  
"This is a surprise isn't it?" Celina said.  
  
"I'm happy for Perdita if she's happy, that's all I want for her. Why do you think I send her across the land to go to school?" BJ said.  
  
"Why do you think I agreed for her to come here?" Peggy added.  
  
"Same here. I'm proud of my little Nicolette actually." Hawkeye said. "If she's happy and proud of herself, that's what matters and what counts.  
  
"How do you think it started?" BJ asked, they hadn't given any details as to how they'd got so close in the first place.  
  
"They've been so close since they were thirteen. They're like sisters, they did a lot of their growing up together, it's natural dad." Erin said. "I know, Emmylou and I haven't known each other as long, but it can happen dad."  
  
"Celina and I never noticed anything. But I guess we didn't really know what to look for." Hawkeye said.  
  
"What can we do?" BJ asked. "Apart from tell them we're proud of them and love them regardless."  
  
"That's all they want Beej, your promise of love and pride." Margaret said.  
  
"That's all Emmylou and I want."  
  
"Yes, it's not much to ask is it?" Emmylou added.  
  
"No it's not." Peggy smiled. "If that's what you want, that's what you'll get. That's what Perdita and Nicolette will get too."  
  
"We love our girls don't we? Whatever makes them happy makes us happy. I'm so proud of Nicolette for who she is, and being so brave." Hawkeye said.  
  
"True, I'm really proud of Perdita too." Sitting on the top stair, tears came to both girls' eyes. They were so relieved to hear that their parents still loved them.  
  
"Let's just tell them that we're proud and we love them. They can tell us what they want to tell us, nothing more, nothing less." It was basically becoming a discussion between BJ and Hawkeye, the two fathers who had the closest bond with their daughters.  
  
"Yep, that's all we can do. My little girl, all grown up and in love!" BJ laughed suddenly.  
  
"I know, they're just babies still!" Hawkeye joined in the mirth. The women laughed too.  
  
"Well, if you suddenly saw your daughter after months and realised just how . . . curvy she was, you'd have gotten a fright!" BJ laughed, remembering the initial shock of how much Perdita had grown when he'd arrived in Maine for their graduation. She'd gotten taller, and more delicate and beautiful than before.  
  
"Nicolette gets taller everyday." He smiled at the thought of his raven- haired daughter. "She'll stop soon though, or I hope she will, or she'll be taller than I am!"  
  
"She takes after her you, her hair, her eyes, her sense of humour . . ." BJ listed with a chuckle.  
  
"Enough! Enough! Okay, she takes after me, is that my fault?" Hawkeye gave a laugh.  
  
"It is your fault you're her father!" BJ argued, and upstairs, the girls stifled a laugh.  
  
"How about Erin, she's got that hideous moustache?" Hawkeye teased. Erin jumped to her defence and found herself pulled into a hug. Perdita and Nicolette held hands as they listened to Erin's playful squeal.  
  
"Come on, I have to put Cherie in her bed." Nicolette stood up and carried the baby to the nursery. Casey and Amelia, who were 14 and 12 already slept on the floor. She laid the baby in her cot and once they were sure she was settled, went to their room and changed into their pyjamas.  
  
"D'ya think they mean it?" Nicolette asked.  
  
"Hmm?" Perdita queried dragging an oversize shirt of Hawkeye's on to sleep in.  
  
"Do you think they mean it when they say love us, and are proud and don't care?"  
  
"Daddy said that about Erin and he meant it then, so why wouldn't he mean it now? And besides, have you ever known dad to lie to you?" The girls often called their biological father daddy and their other father dad.  
  
"Well, yes there was the time when Daniel was born and I asked him how Daniel got into mum."  
  
"You were what, 4? I'm not surprised, I remember when Caitlin was born and daddy told me the truth and I told my WHOLE kinder class. They weren't too impressed. He was safeguarding against having to deal with the entire kinder class mad at him." Nicolette laughed at that, at four it probably would have been just the thing she did.  
  
"Knock, knock, it's me can I come in?" Margaret's voice came from the other side of the door.  
  
"Yeah." Margaret came in; Perdita now sat backwards in a chair in front of Nicolette's bed while Nicolette brushed her hair.  
  
"Hello girls, I knew you wouldn't be asleep yet, may I?" Nicolette nodded, and Margaret climbed onto the bed behind her and undid the intricate braid that Hawkeye had put in and started brushing her hair.  
  
"I'm proud of you two, being honest like that, it took you two years, but I'm really proud of you. So's everyone else, they really are, there was the initial shock that you saw, but they are, they really love you and are really proud of you."  
  
"What about mum?" Nicolette asked.  
  
"I don't think Celina fully understands it, she understands that you're not interested in men, but not that you're together." Margaret got off the bed after loosely plaiting the silky black hair. "I'm off to bed, goodnight girls."  
  
"Goodnight Aunty Margaret." They chorused, and received a hug and kiss each. No sooner than Margaret had left, than BJ and Hawkeye had come in to tuck their girls in.  
  
"What are you still awake for hmm? You're still little girls! It's so late, way past your bedtime!" Hawkeye teased.  
  
"It's after 12, you should be sound asleep!" BJ echoed.  
  
"Daddy, can you give us a minute we want to say goodnight by ourselves okay?" Nicolette asked. Hawkeye smiled, and backed out graciously BJ followed him, and they closed the door, leaving the two girls alone in the privacy of their room. Once they were sure they were alone, they wrapped their arms around each other in a tight, warm hug.  
  
"I'm so relieved they're okay with it." Nicolette said.  
  
"Yeah, me too." Perdita agreed, to Ncolette's shoulder. They held each other in the tight hug for quite sometime, forgetting where they were.  
  
"Hello, can we come in again?" BJ and Hawkeye tapped on the door and came in. The girls jumped suddenly, woken from the little world they created.  
  
"Night sweetheart." Nicolette bent and quickly kissed Perdita, and crossed to her own bed.  
  
"Goodnight Nicolette." Perdita called. The two girls put up with their fathers tucking them in good-naturedly, at heart they were still little girls and they loved the attention.  
  
"Sleep tight." Hawkeye flicked off the light switch.  
  
"Don't let the bedbugs bite." BJ closed the door quietly. The girls mumbled a sleepy response as the shaft of light from the hall got smaller as the door closed.  
  
Both girls went to bed that night reassured that their families loved them and were proud of them no matter what and it was a much easier night's sleep than they'd had in a while. 


	9. Epilogue

A/N: Thankyou very much to Meredith for her wonderful help in suggesting how to finish this.  
  
Part Eight: Epilogue  
  
Nicolette and Perdita went on to become the third line of surgeons in both their families. They remained true to each other, politely declining offers from the men who constantly asked them out on dates.  
  
At the end of the day when the cruel remarks became to much, Perdita and Nicolette were glad that they could find comfort with Erin and Emmylou, who knew how it felt to be called frigid, or square and ridiculed for putting their studies ahead of social lives. It was the constant and loving support that got the two through college, convincing them to keep going when times were rough.  
  
They graduated, tying for third place in their class and it was very proud parents who watched their daughters become doctors. Both BJ and Hawkeye still loved their daughters more than ever, for who they were.  
  
Hawkeye retired and Dr Nicolette Pierce took over his practise, Dr Perdita Honnicut at her side. They lived together and as they matured further, they began to explore their relationship in a more physical way beyond the sweet little kisses they had shared as teens and although their parents had believed that this would pull them apart it only served to make them closer than before.  
  
Things were hard as neither girl could bear the separation from their families, or each other. Perdita often travelled west again to see her parents, but missed Nicolette the whole time, and when she was with Nicolette, she missed her family the whole time. If Nicolette went and stayed with the Honnicuts, she missed her family. Both families saw how their separation affected their daughters, and the Honnicuts, with the smaller, older family decided to do something about it.  
  
When Erin and Emmylou were settled in their own house in New Orleans to be near Emmylou's Aunt Ruby, her only living relative, Ben was at college in Chicago and Caitlin was attending the private school that Perdita had been at in Maine, BJ and Peggy decided to leave the west coast for the east and at long last, the two families were together once and for all.  
  
Nicolette and Perdita stayed together through everything, and never married nor had children as they'd dreamed as little girls. They didn't mind though, they were very happy together, telling only a select few friends, and informing everyone else that they took their careers as surgeons too seriously to have time for raising a family, taking immense pleasure instead, in helping to raise their numerous nieces and nephews.  
  
They'd formed a close, unbreakable relationship, that grew stronger with every year and in time they came to realise how much they needed it when their fathers passed away within a few short weeks of each other. It was a relationship that had changed Nicolette, Perdita, and everyone around them, for the better, and if they had the chance, they would never go back and change anything, they were perfectly happy just the way they were. 


End file.
